What's the read Aodhan?

CHANGE: O Riordan WHILE I'm on about people getting up my nostrils, what about the Labour Party boys and girls out in Clontarf? These Loony Lefties want all Catholic civil servants screened to ensure they don't show inappropriate deference to the church.

Not Protestants or Muslims or Jews. Just the Catholics. Initially, it seems, they were backed by local TD Aodhan O Riordain. Now, following a bit of a hoo-ha, Aodhan says he hadn't actually read the proposal and doesn't back it. Well, Holy God Almighty as he probably doesn't say.

I wonder if there is much else he has backed by accident over the years. Still, I worry a little bit that if Labour ever gets more power than it has, we'll end up like North bloody Korea or Albania or somewhere, where they banned God altogether It's unlikely, I suppose. God is good.

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HOUSE SHE COPE AT ALL?

TROOPER: Gwyneth Paltrow GWYNETH Paltrow is a stay-at-home mum. She likes to cook for hubby Chris Martin and children Moses and Apple whenever they're there.

It must be tough living in the three properties the couple bought for more than €7m before knocking them together at the cost of a further million or two to make a 40-roomed house in which the poor thing has to stay at home.

You thought you had it tough. But some people really do have a lot to put up with.

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Paddy Murray

Every Sunday is Paddy's Day paddy.murray@sundayworld.com

These fools can go and truck right off

Blockade bozo sums up week

CARNAGE: IRA’s Birmingham bomb WHAT a week. It's like some people woke up on Monday and decided they'd get on my nerves. Like Michael Martin who wants a referendum on the European Fiscal Compact. Funny. I can't actually remember Fianna Fail's referendum on the bank guarantee, the lunacy which landed us in the mire in the first place.

Bomb

And then, as usual, there are those great democrats, the Shinners. Gerry Adams has been talking about democracy and referendums. Do you remember being asked if you wanted people the IRA to bomb Birmingham or if you wanted Protestant workers at Kingsmill or Teebane to be murdered for being Protestants, or if you wanted Jean McConville or Tom Oliver to be shot dead?

Then there's this trucker in Donegal who wants to finish off our economy. John McLaughlin is unhappy at the rising price of diesel. And so he has, he says, no option but to blockade Dublin. He will, he says, bring Dublin to a standstill. I would dearly love John to explain to me, how putting the jobs of thousands of workers in jeopardy, how making life hell for ordinary people and how putting the lives of cancer and other patients at risk, is going to help him.

If he can't I suggest he blockade his local town and stop his neighbours getting to shops, pubs and doctors' surgeries, stop workers getting to their jobs, and see how popular he is at the end of it.

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TEXT MANIAC MORONS

COMPLAINTS: Kenny I AM pretty sure that, one of these mornings, I will turn on the radio news and it will go like this.

"Taoiseach Enda Kenny has decided to cut the capital budget by a further €2bn and Mick from Clondalkin has texted in to say he thinks that's a bad idea."

I'm beginning to get a pain in my face with Mick and Mary and with Sheila, John, Darren, Sharon, Brian, David, Tom, Steve, Mark, Kevin, Joan, Roisin and all the people who text what are supposed to be serious news programmes, with their grievances.

If people contact newspapers with opinions or stories or tipoffs, we always check them out. We find out, if we can, if Sheila and John are telling the truth, if Darren and Sharon are part of a campaign, if Brian and David are who they say they are.

I don't turn on the radio to find out what Mick and Mary think or what they have to say. I want to hear proper news. If I want to hear what Mick and Mary have to say, I'll go down to the pub and I'll ask them.

Can someone please stop this bloody nonsense?

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